Checking off the "lasts"

I just had parent conferences last week and realized they were the last conferences of my career. Let's see...25 conferences twice a year (averaging my class size which was 18 to 32 kids) times 25 years ( I won't count my years in special ed--but there are less conferences but much longer.) That equals out to about 1,250 conferences that I've held since I began teaching. That's a lot of conferencing.

I think back to when I first held my first conferences. I was so nervous. What was I to expect? Would the parents be upset by a grade I had given a child? Would they question what I was doing in class? Would they be supportive when a behavior problem was brought up? Well...it turns out that it is all of the above. Some of the conferences we hold are easy as the child has many strengths and there are some things they can do to improve. Parents appreciate the feedback and are usually supportive. Then there are the "hard one's" in which there are many things to bring up that a child needs to work on and you are grasping at straws to find their strengths. Often, those are the times when you end up sitting there hearing the family problems, seeing the tears, and understanding why the child is having so many problems. I feel bad sometimes that there is only so much I can do. I can make the child feel safe, give him a snack if he comes to school hungry, but you can't fix the things at home. Many times, the child sees me more than their parents since so many kids are in daycare before and after school. I do start to feel like a parent and I don't take my job lightly.

Conferences are where we get to know the parents. It's a place of building trust. It's where we come together and try to figure out what's best for their child. It takes more than just teachers to help educate a child and I think that's what some people forget. There are many learning opportunities for a child--not just the classroom. They need to develop their character in their homes--then we are there to reinforce it at school. We want to help the child learn to make the right choices.

So, thinking about checking off my list of "lasts" is bittersweet. I had my last school party at Valentine's day and I'm sure there will be others by the end of the year. I won't forget the conferences I've held. The times I've laughed and cried and really got to know the parents of the children I have loved so well. I won't forget them--and I hope they will have thought I cared for their child and wanted only success for them.